Oops!

I’m back! It’s been way too long.

Lovrina: I’m going to stand here in an awkward pose until you get on with the blog.

Onyx: Whose car is that?

Lovrina: Can you not see your mom sitting in the front seat? It’s mine, you dunce.

This is the Alto’s car. Har har har. Lovrina stole it.

Lovrina: Permanently borrowed it!

Lovrina got a job opportunity; she had to befriend some dude and get a raise.

Lovrina: *Pokes invisible doorbell*

Crazy Hair guy: Seriously? Whose kid is this? He just showed up on my doorstep one day and asked for food?

Kid: I’ve been living under the stairs for the past ten years, eating nothing but rust off of the radiator and dead mice.

Well isn’t that something.

Lovrina: Oh yeah! My kid is so much better than this one!

Baby: Lovrina is behaving inappropriately! If she continues to misbehave, I’ll have to ask her to leave!

Lovrina: I was just saying that my baby is more-

Baby: YOU ARE BEING EXTREMELY RUDE PLEASE EXIT THE PREMISES KTHXBY

Lovrina: …The hell?

Yo, kid on the slide?

Petroleum: Erm, what do wish to know?

WHY THE FRICK AREN’T YOU IN SCHOOL.

Petroleum: I made a simple request to be excused to class-

Yes and?

Petroleum: And I walked out. I think she was wondering if I was going to the bathroom or not. That neanderthal.

GET BACK TO CLASS!

Terry: Oh God, I can feel their eyes on my back. Just ignore them and look ahead… maybe they’ll go away.

Onyx: That’s a nice picture.

Petroleum: PLAY FATHER! I WANT TO SEE YOU FAIL AND FALL INTO DEEP DESPAIR ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU CANNOT PLAY!

Sharp: Teehee! The water tickles my tummy!

Sharp: THE WATER BREATHES LIFE IN MY SOUL!

I’m sure it does.

Silkie Chicken: I see you over there, Mother. There is a diaper on me that needs changed.

Lovrina: Oh no, she saw me. What do I do?!

Onyx: Mom made me change Chicken’s diaper? So much wrong with that.

Lovrina: I told you I’d find a way!

Terry: This washing machine is too loud! *Squirrel face*

Petroleum: What? A close up shot of me for no apparent reason? Ergo, it must be my birthday!

So true! Get to the cake.

Petroleum: What do I wish for? How about fame? Wealth? No fire when I grow up?

Lovrina and Terry: WOOOOO WE’RE CHEERING SO HARD RIGHT NOW!

Petroleum: Fine, I choose the first one.

Cake: YOU HAVE CHOSEN WRONG!

Shimmers: OH GOD OH GOD WE’RE JUST GOING TO STAND HERE AND FREAK OUT ABOUT THE FIRE AND NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!

Lovrina: I got dis! *pulls fire extinguisher out of nowhere*

Lovrina: That was enjoyable.

Onyx: I wish to ride a unicorn into the sunset whilst eating a bowl of Captain Crunch.

Petroleum: Oh glorious day! I shall age up soon!

Petroleum: What are these? Sparkles? They are enveloping me!

Petroleum: How do I look?

TO THE DRESSER STAT

Petroleum: How about now? *Teehee*

Pretty good actually.

Chair: Nobody loves me

Do you see what this is?

This is a ticking time bomb.

You never know when it’s going to go off.

You do not taunt the bomb.

You do not mess with the bomb.

You set the bomb down, and leave it the eff alone.

Maid; YAH! That baby’s awesome!

Terry: Okay Silkie, I’m going to leave you here in the yard unsupervised whilst I go get ready for work. If you need anything, don’t do anything. I’ll be back in two hours.

Lovrina: What?! Red ring of death? 

LOVRINA RAGE SMASH

Petroleum: Mother…. that’s my arm your hand is going through.

Lovrina, Terry, and Petroleum: The TV broke.

Terry: Lol, luk at meh plumbob.

Washing Machine: Bra, I don’t feel good. You think it ‘as that skimpy top I ate last night?

Dryer: Naw Bra, those bitches be crazy.

Washing Machine: HOLY SHIT MAN I’m vomiting white stuff!

Dryer: OH MY GAWD BRA

Washing Machine: OH MEH GA-BALKSDJLA

Both: AHHHHHHH!

Petroleum: I can’t even see because this white stuff is everywhere.

Washing Machine: OH GOD MORE THAT FEELS SO GOOD

So, what-cha dooooin’ Petroleum?

Petroleum: Making my dinner that breaks my fast.

You’re sprinkling egg shells on your dough? What are you making?

Petroleum: Waffles; what does it look like?

Shouldn’t you put that in a bowl?

Petroleum: I told you, I’ve got this.

Petroleum: I’ll just discard that eggshell…

Eggshell: WHY ME?!

Petroleum: I couldn’t locate a spoon, so this will have to be an acceptable substitute.

Petroleum: In you go!

Petroleum: Out you come…

Petroleum! Don’t you think that’s going to be a little hot?

Those actually look somewhat delicious.

Onyx: I hate my life.

How much poo does that baby make?

Onyx: Judging by the weight of this sack, I’d say quite a lot.

Crowd: DOWN WITH UNICORNS! DOWN WITH UNICORNS! They’ve been the ones causing the strange deaths of babies and Lady Gaga fans!

Terry: DOWN WITH THOSE UNICORNS. THEY ARE THE REASON VOLDEMORT SURVIVED!

Fat kid: OMG MALCOLM LANGRAAB I’M DOING A DERP JUST FOR YOU!

There were actually quite a few sims in the park.

LET THE HERALD ANGELS SING THERE ARE CHILDREN IN THIS TOWN

Onyx: What a nice day to read.

Jamie Jolina: DOWN WITH UNICORNS! KILL THEM ALL!

*******

Again people, I’m sorry this is so late. Seriously. I’ll do better next time.

The House Tour

It’s been so long! I’ve been neglecting this legacy because I’m so far into my Aurora legacy. But anyways: I promised a house tour a LONG time ago, SOOOO here it is!

The outside.

The Laundry Room

The Kitchen

The Ground Floor Bathroom

The Living Room

Silkie's Room

Petroleum's Room

Terry and Lovrina's Room

Sharp's Bedroom

Stairs leading to the second floor.

This Room is Currently empty because we ran out of money...

Second Story Bathroom

Onyx and Silkie Chicken's future bedroom.

Back of the House

1st Floor

2nd Floor

Now, I promise that there is another post on the way to make up for my un-postiness. I’m really sorry about that. -.-

Attack of the Derps

BORN TO BE WIIILLLLDDD!

I’m sorry, that just pops into my head whenever I see that opening picture.

Anywho, I can’t believe it. Two posts in two days. I may die of astonishment.

Terry: Okay Sharp, in order to be the heir, you need to develop skills. Any skills really, will work. So let’s try this again. And a one, and a two, and a one, two, three, four!

Xylophone: Tink. Tink. Tink.

Terry: Good, good. Now, let’s try to do Flight of the Bumblebee next.

That’s bound to go well.

A Very Pregnant Lovrina: THIS IS WHAT A BLUE WAFFLE IS?!

Lovrina: Terry lied to me… he said it was a delicious breakfast food.

Well, to some people-

Lovrina: TO NORMAL PEOPLE IT’S NOT!

For lying to his wife, Terry was put on poop duty for a week.

Look at him take his punishment with a smile!

Terry: K-k-k…Kill me…

Petroleum: Even though this is destined to help me in the future, why must I learn the quadratic formula? Shall I ever need it in the future?

Petroleum: Please hurry up, O’ Glorious Skillbar. I wish to be finished with this task. Petroleum: Father… I despise school. May I postpone my education and go about learning the secrets of the universe on my own?

Terry: *Cough splutter*

Terry: WHAT IDEA GAVE YOU THAT?! GET BACK TO YOUR HOMEWORK OR I SHALL CRACK YOUR HEAD OPEN WITH A ROLLING PIN. (And a piece of paper.)

Petroleum: Y-yes father..

SOMEBODY CUE THE TUBA MUSIC!

Lovrina: I refuse to look in your general direction.

Dolls: Help! We’re being eaten by- *Crunch* MY ARM! MY ARM!

*Stunned at the ironic cuteness of the situation*

They’re both potty trained! HOORAY!

Lovrina: Alright Sharp, time to go beddy-bye. After this Mommy needs to go to the bathroom. I’ve been feeling strange lately.

Lovrina: I wonder if I’ve been feeling this way because of the baby.

*Rush of water over Lovrina’s legs*

Lovrina: Not this again!

Lovrina: HE-HO-HE-HO!

Lovrina: This one came out rather quick.

Not a surprise there… *cough cough*

Lovrina: Are you implying something?

No…*cough*

Anyways, this is Silkie Chicken Shimmer, the last child of the first generation.

What? Go google silkie chicken. The feathers may not be white, but the skin is. Anyways, she is an excitable genius.

And she is a pain in the arse.

Why hello there, handsome little boy. This is Onyx after he aged up, so he is now a vegetarian loner who is also perceptive.

Onyx: I hate glasses. Get. Them. Off. Of. Me.

Sharp: Derp derp derp.

Awweee. Someone else is growing up too. (He was born at like 11:00 at night, so he technically qualifies for the ‘birthday warning’ rule, along with Onyx.)

Terry: Are you ready to see my son?

Yes. I think I’m well prepared.

Booyah! Sharp is looking EPIC. (He gained the friendly trait)

WHY ARE THERE MORE BIRTHDAYS?!

Awww. Look at how cute she-

…

Ugh. I guess we know who got Terry’s share of genes.

Petroleum: All of this celebration is quite strenuous. I must take a bath to relieve my stress.

Petroleum: Ahhh. This is so lovely.

HA! You just used a positive word!

This picture is currently my laptop’s background.

It’s EPIC.

Onyx: It appears Mom is calling me. I’ll be right back.

Onyx: IT BURNS!

Lovrina: I wonder how my blog is doing.

Onyx: IT STILL BURNS!

Two Dollar Hooker/Paparazzi: Haay all im liek her to taek sum pics uf u giis nd wutnot lol

SERIOUSLY?!

Lady Gaga trashcan: She’s doing it for the Fame. Duh.

She’s climbin’ in yo’ windows.

Snatchin’ yo fame up.

Onyx: Hey are you sure it’s safe to jump this high? What if we get hurt or worse? Mom wouldn’t be very happy.

Sharp: What Mom doesn’t know can’t hurt her. Besides, who’s gunna know that we did this?

Ninja Stalker: Ha ha! I’ve got evidence of you breaking all of teh rulez!

*Flash photography*

And then I moved the family to Sunset Valley because the school in Twinbrook went and screwed up. (Totally not because I like Sunset Valley better)

AND!

AND!

AND!

I built a new house to go with the move! I’m doing a house tour after this post so you can get a better feel of the house. But here is a picture of the house’s exterior.

I built this house after the one I lived in as a child. It wasn’t as big as this one, and this one isn’t in the country, but it’s very close to what it looks like.

OMG.

The children are co-operating.

Onyx: Yes! My tower is complete!

Petroleum: I’m constructing the Eiffel Tower. Isn’t it grand?

Sharp: Well I’m building the Taj Mahal. Beats all of you.

SilkieChicken: *Gurgling*

Sharp: You know, she really isn’t that ugly.

Yes she is. Now go help your mom or something.

 

***************************************

Whew! I’m all done, all caught up. Now, let’s have a family picture for the heck of it!

There, isn’t that nice?

 

A Growing Family

Here I am again… late… again. Sorry about that.

Aaaaanyways,let’s get this show on the road!
OH MY GOD LOVRINA IS FLYING.

IT’S THE APOCALYPSE.

EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT WHITE PEOPLE CAN’T JUMP. (lol racism)

Lovrina: Wheee! I’m heading for the moooooon….Lovrina: Lol jk. I has a trampoline.*Bwong*Lovrina: This is thso (nerd slur) mutch thun!

 

Then gravity decided to be a bitch.

Lovrina: Oh no! I’m gunna die-eeeee-eeeee….!

Quick readers, what should she do?

a.) fall on her face.

b.) fall on her front

c.) all of the aboveLovrina: AHHH!

*back snaps**Thud*

Lovrina? Is that a tattoo?

Lovrina: Hospital… now…Lovrina: That one goes there, Onyx.Onyx: Nooo it doesn’t, mawmmy! I KNOW WHERE IT GOES!Onyx: See mawmmy? If fwits here!Onyx: WHY WON’T YOU FIT WITTLE SQUARE PIECE?!

Petroleum: Pfft. Inferior intellects.

Lovrina: Have you noticed that I’ve been in EVERY SINGLE shot so far?

Hmm. Now that you say that…

Petroleum: Mother! I COMMAND that you age me up right now so I can be mentally stronger quicker!

Petroleum: THE TRANSFORMATION BURNS!

I hope it does. 

Petroleum: *Derp face*CAN’T UNSEE

Petroleum: Mother! The transformation is complete! Mother?!

Lovrina: BZZZZZZZ

Petroleum: MOTHER AM I BEAUTIFUL?!

Lovrina: BZZZZZ

Petroleum: I am the Goddess of all I survey.

This is Petroleum as a child. Look at that dark, mysterious glance over the shoulders, only about to be followed by a slow motion hair flip.

Anyways, she gained the never-nude trait. So she is a lazy virtuoso who never showers. Sounds like my neighbor.

The sad fact about this picture is that some of you got turned on.

ADMIT IT!

Let’s just hope that Petroleum doesn’t turn out like this.

Petroleum: Are you saying that I’m incapable of doing such a meager task as maintaining an acceptable body BMI and appearance?! You shall pay!

Petroleum: Onyx… who and where is your sister, who possesses supreme intelligence over this household?

Onyx: *Lips slowly starting to look like duck lips* I dwon’t know Petwo!

Onyx: I am ashwamed Petwo! I dwon’t know!

Petroleum: She is here, she IS Petroleum! From now on, as your punishment, you may only call my ‘O Brilliant Ray of Starshine’!

Onyx: She has spoken!

Lovrina: You’ve taken this too far.

Don’t question me or my musical preferences.

Or my obsession with Create-a-Pattern.

Petroleum: This is mine, Onyx.

Onyx: Yes, O’ Bwilliant Ray of Starshwine.’

Petroleum: Not your’s.

Onyx: Yes, O’ Bwilliant Ray of Starshwine.’

Petroleum: And if you so much as touch this, you will wake up with missing limbs.

Onyx: *Gulp* Y…y…yes… O Bw-bwilliant Ray of Staw–Sh-sh-shwine.’

*Terry calling to Lovrina desperately*

Lovrina: Coming dear!

Computer: It’s Friday, Friday, Gunna get down on Friday!

Petroleum: I will go put this panda bear, which I have named Xebethclu, in my room, on my bed, and then go ask Mother if I may go for a bike ride. You are dismissed.

Petroleum: If Mother fails to respond to the inquisition properly, she will have to deal with my extremely muscular body.

Petroleum: *Opens Lovrina and Terry’s bedroom door*

Petroleum: M-m-m-mother?! What is Terry doing to you?!

Petroleum: Why does Terry have a paintbrush there?!

Petroleum: The HUMANITY!

Terry: Scat! Scat! Shoo! Get out of here, child! 

Terry A: Now where were me, my little Snufflupagus?

That situation was handled with such grace, wasn’t it Lovrina?

Lovrina: Lol i dunno, Terry is trying to hav his smexy timez with me if u kno wat i mean.

Awww. Look who grew up.

Shark: *Looks like a stud-monkey*

Sharp: Can I be heir, Daddy?

Terry: Only if you try, Sharp. Only if you try. And be as cute as you can be.

Terry: But I’ll be there for you every step of the way, little guy.

So this is how it is. Terry and Sharp; Lovrina and Petroleum. Who do you think will be heir?

Onyx: What abwout me?!

Guess who has a new friend?

Petroleum: The correct term is ‘Man Slave.’

Petroleum: Run, man slave! I must prove to the narrator that I am more than capable of staying physically in shape!

Man Slave: I… can’t…. breath…. *GASP*

Her little friend didn’t stick around for much longer.

Lovrina: GARBLARBLARTHISSHOULDNTBEHAPPENING

Guess what? Lovrina is pregnant. Again. And for the last time… hopefully. I can’t take too many more babies, or my brain will implode, creating a black hole. Thus, sucking everything in the solar system into it.

Baby holding scene. Well, actually it was a potty training session.

Needless to say, it wasn’t too successful.

Onyx: Why is thwere no wight?

They’re too poor for that.

*Looks in Lovrina’s inventory. Sees 4 Maguaret Vaguesters, and 3 Bwan Speedsters. Dies of amazement but doesn’t sell them because of the need of future funds*

Lovrina: BLKASHGFJAKSGHD! I was going to read that newspaper…

I guess you’re not now. Now fish that out of the small vomit lake that you’ve created and throw it away.

Random baby scene.

Not much else going on.

Terry: You’ve got this Sharp. This heirdom is all you. You gotta keep your head in the game, and never give up. You hear me? Lem’me hear a SIR YES SIR!

Sharp: SIR YES SIR!

 

Thanks for bearing with me this long, and I promise, it won’t take me another two months to update this blog.

Rugrats

Welcome back people and peeplets! This chapter is REALLY overdue. Sorry. I’ve been sick lately. First was strep throat… then the stomach flu… 2 days ago I got the respiratory flu… and today I have an ear infection. Woohoo!

Lovrina: I has a mustache.

Petroleum: Look Mother! I’m using the toilet!

Lovrina: Oooga-boooga-loova

Petroleum: I potty trained myself! Mother! Mother?!

Since Lovrina didn’t pay any attention to her daughter, I will! Look at her eyes… they’re purple like Lovrina’s!

Lovrina: BLLLEARRGH!

 

*2 hours later*

*Sploosh*

Lovrina: OMG. I totally didn’t see this coming.

Is anybody having problems with their babies? Ever since I installed Late Night their social bar decays so much faster, and I have to do about 10 interactions to get it full again.

Onyx: WAAAHH! WAAAH! I HAVE SUCCEEDED IN MAKING YOUR LIFE MISERABLE! WAAAH!

Petroleum: And you see, Father, that is the Palos Verdes Blue butterfly, said to be the rarest one in existence!

Terry: Ahh, erm, okay.

Panda Bear: I have managed to sneak into your photo. Beware!

OMG THANK YOU!

And everybody just leaves the baby on the floor. Quality parenting right there.

Oh. Em. Jizzle. Onyx is… iss…. is….

AMAZINGLY CUTE!

CUTENESS OVERLOAD!

This was my face when I saw him. I’m amazed that Lovrina can make such decent looking babies.

Onyx: WAAA WAAA! ALL OF MY NEEDS ARE GREEN BUT I STILL HAVE THE URGE TO CRY! WAAAH!

STOP CRYING ALREADY!!

Lovrina: Is this good?

Yes… Yes, it looks like it could bring us some money.

Lovrina: Oh booooy, hang on. Baby wants out.

Something is seriously wrong in this picture.

HER SHOES DON’T MATCH HER PANTS!

Lovrina: Here I am. With the baby. And Terry didn’t bother to show up.

Oh boo hoo. Cry me a river.

Lovrina: I WILL DROWN OUT MY SORROWS WITH ICE CREAM!

Aaaanyways, this is Sharp Shimmer. Named after the sharp/flat keys on the piano.

See? Hur hur hur.

Sharp’s traits are excitable and friendly.

 

AND THAT CONCLUDES THIS EPISODE OF THE SHIMMER LEGACY.

SORRY ITS SO SHORT. MY EAR IS KILLING ME!

Baby Fever

Please ignore the fact that I spelled “Fever” wrong in the opening shot. LOL SUCKZ 4 YUU

Warning: A ton of randomness.

Here, we witness Lovrina smothering her baby in her body odors.

Lovrina: She likes it. It has that ‘homey’ scent.

It has that ‘I just peed all over myself’ scent.

Hey Terry, Watcha dooooooin’?

Terry: It’s Love night with Lovrina: I ate some onion soup earlier and I can’t get the scent out of my mouth.

So Lovrina has baby fever then, huh?

Terry: Yeah. She does. Now excuse me while I scream in pain because I’ve caused my gums to start bleeding.

*Screaming*

I heard a lullaby. Thank EAxis for installing that!

Even though it’s not her best work, I like this. TO THE WALL IT GOES!

Lovrina: Operation Impregnation is a complete. Now for stage two of the plan.

What plan?

Lovrina: Like I would tell you, MUHAHAHAHA!

Petro: WAAH!!! I look like an oversized turd and scream a lot! WAAAHH!

Seriously, this baby WILL. NEVER. SHUT. UP.

Terry: I’ve found the source of the crying! It looks like there’s some accumulation of some sort of gooey substance in her swaddle. Lemme take a look.

I wouldn’t do that with her above your face. I really wouldn’t.

From the depths of the fridge comes a scary monster….

THE ROTTEN RAVIOLI!

Is it necessary to do the ‘Oh my Gosh look at me I’m pregnant’ walk? You’re barely showing.

Lovrina: YOU DON’T KNOW ME!

Looks like someone missed the potty. Lovrina, do we need to train you again?

Lovrina: CAKE! *Dramatic Stare*

Thank garsh it’s time for this brat to age up. 

Terry: TOOOT.

Lovrina: *Is still staring intently at the cake*

Petroleum: *Is stoned*

Lovrina: Here you go, my little munchkin. Mommy needs to go outside and vomit.

*Poof*

This is toddler Petroleum, the couch potato virtuoso.

She has her mother’s lavender eyes. Which is nice. Also, you might have noticed the rainbow pattern on her skirt-thing… I got overly happy in the Create-A-Pattern tool.

Petro: Mother! Put me down this instant!

Lovrina: Who’s a wittle airwoplane? You are yes you are!

Petro: Mother!

Lovrina: Say, cell phone!

Petro: Cellular Telephone!

Lovrina: Say… flies are bad.

Petroleum: Actually, Mother, flies are a valuable part of our ecosystem. They provide sustenance for many other animals, such as other insects and birds. They are also great pollinators, only second to bees and certain varieties of wasps!

Lovrina: Really?

Yes. Really.

Lovrina got an opportunity to give a lecture at the hospital for money, so off you go Lovrina!

I was actually worried that she would go into labour before she finished.

She got through the lecture somehow, and here she emerged, 600 Simoleons richer!

Lauren: So does being pregnant hurt?

Lovrina: No, it doesn’t. It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

Lovrina: OH MY GOD THAT WAS SO IRONIC!

Lauren: What’s going on?! Lauren: THAT DOESN’T LOOK FUN!

Scarred for life? I think so.

Pregnant Black Lady: OH MEH GAWD LABOR!

Lovrina: Labor is fun! *Smiles*

That’s the crazy showing in his eyes. Look out everybody.

After two hours of screaming, Lovrina and Terry exited the hospital with Onyx, a perceptive loner.

Terry: Uhm, Lovrina? Lovrina?! LOVRINA?!

They made up quickly. Aaaaaaaaand, I heard the lullaby!

Awww. What a lovely shot. Potty training in the morning.

Petroleum: *Splashes in pee*

Petroleum: *Sucks on hands*

PETROLEUM!

Petroleum: Don’t hate until you try it.

Petroleum: Can I obtain heirdom if I act cute?

You’ll have to try harder than that.

BEHOLD! Lovrina’s new outfit!

HAHA! Awkward ending picture.

 

 

 

 

Smooth Criminal

Can you believe that we’re still in generation gray? Chisagi was done with this generation by the first chapter. Better speed it up a little Lovrina!

Lovrina: You put ANOTHER spoiler in this picture.

Hush…

Lovrina: You know what they say, a Woo-hoo a day keeps the doctor away.

I’m pretty sure it’s the exact opposite of that.

And I think I just heard a lullaby. Hooray for me!

Yes. Please steal that.

Lovrina: That lamppost looks mighty fine over there.

STEAL IT OR YOU DIE.

Lovrina: Fine, fine… 

Lovrina: Hooray! That car was worth 10,000 Simoleons!

*crickets*

It’s worth 105,000 in buy mode. I think we got ripped off.

Burglar: Heh heh heh… They’ll never see me coming.

Well I do.

Burglar: Damn you! Stupid theme song!

Lovrina: My legacy senses are tingling!

Are you sure that isn’t just all the caffeine you had earlier!

Lovrina: Quite possibly!

Lovrina: Hello yes! 911? There’s a burglar in my house!

911: Just stand still and it’ll go away.

Lovrina: IT’S NOT WORKING!

Burglar: After I steal her husband, Imma gunna burn-a this place to the ground!

O no u di’unt.

Burglar: Ha ha! Get in the bag!

I’m pretty sure a full grown man can’t fit-

Burglar: I SAID GET IN THE BAG!

Terry: Zzzz… politics…zzzz…. governator….

Lovrina: I am oblivious to the fact that my house is being robbed.

You’ve found your happy place, haven’t you?

Lovrina: No, I found the crack stash.

Police-Woman: Here I am! Sorry I couldn’t get here sooner, but I stopped at a McDonald’s on my way here, and they line at the drive-thru was SO long and-

Police-Woman: SURPRISE ATTACK!

Burglar: Oh man, where’d she go?!

Police-Woman: I’M GUNNA SNAP YUR NECK!

*Snap*

Take it outside! I don’t want a dead body in my house.

Burglar: Wady… what dif fu do?

Police-Woman: The ol’ Chinese neck-snap. Gives you a permanent speech impediment.

Lovrina: OH MY GOD! I JUST REALIZED THAT THERE IS A BURGLAR IN MY HOUSE! AND MY HUSBAND IS DREAMING OF BATHTUBS!

Terry: Zzzz… C’mere baby… oh yeah… I’d like a sponge-bath… Zzzz

Lovrina: This whole situation is making me sick.

Sure… that’s it. 

Lovrina: BLEASBKLJHSAPDHWHYAMIGETTINGSICKOHNOEZZZ

I see you’ve tried Lovrina’s cooking.

Terry: She used cat food instead of tuna for the tuna salad last time.

Is that mac and cheese then?

Terry:It was supposed to be chili.

How did-

Terry: I have no clue.

Lovrina, I told you to get on that treadmill.

Lovrina: Can’t.

Why?

Lovrina: T0t411y pr3gg3rzz!

Good thing I let you advance in your career, isn’t it?

Lovrina: You spent ALL of the family’s money on a new house!

And so I did. It’s a 3 bedroom 1 bathroom house, with a spacious living room and fancy kitchen. It has also been recolored for the black generation.

Lovrina: Look! It’s a gingerbread house!

It looks like a giant rainbow turd. Srsly Lovrina? Elephants paint better than that.

Lovrina: Terry, can I tell you something?

Terry: Is it about your freakishly bloated stomach?Lovrina: Yes! I’m pregnant!
Terry: Oh my God…

Terry: So you haven’t gained 40 pounds in the past 48 hours?

Sometimes I worry about the intelligence of my sims.

When I said ‘Pour yourself onto the canvas’, I didn’t mean it literally!

Lovrina: Hee ho HEE HO!

Just stay there Lovrina! Everything’s gunna be fine! *Locks doors*

Lovrina: WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!

I enjoy watching you suffer.

Lovrina: Awww… it’s a baby.

Meet Petroleum Shimmer. Petroleum is another name for oil-

AND OH MY GOD WHERE DID THE BABY GO?!

Lovrina: *Babbling to the baby* Who’s gunna be mommy’s wittle empress of Evil? You are, yes you are!

Petroleum: *Gurgles*

Lovrina: I’ll be right back little Petro, Mommy can’t decide whether she wants to pee herself, or die of starvation in 23 hours.

Guess which one she chose?

Lovrina: Look away! I’m not worthy…. *breaks down*

So she peed on the floor. Geeze.

 

AND THAT’S THE END OF THIS CHAPTER KTHXBY

Not really.

WHY THIS CHAPTER IS LATE: I was taken to the E.R. last night due to post Strep Throat illness. I had developed a rash earlier that week on my feet, and I thought it was nothing. Turns out that rash caused my Calf muscles to seize up and have spasms. Walking was excruciating, and don’t even start on stairs.

It literally felt like a rhino was eating my leg.

So there. I HAVE A REASON FOR MY TARDINESS!

 

 

 

Mr. Right

Yes.

SPOILER OH MY GOD YOURE ALL GUNNA DIIEEEE.

Srsly. Like you didn’t see it coming.

This, once again, is Mr. Keyes. Lovrina’s victim future husband.

Terry A: Haha. My eyes are oddly spaced.

Terry A: We’ve been playing… tag for the past… four hours. Can we take a break?

Lovrina: Run. Run or I’ll hurt you.

And so he did. He ran to the street and jumped into his car.

Lovrina: You’re making me go after him… again. Aren’t you?

You’re getting good at this, you know.

Lovrina: Is that a banana in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?

Terry A: No, it’s a banana. They keep longer in a moist environment.

Well OK then.

Lovrina: I’ve always wanted you Terry… Always… I think. Well, actually it was when I saw a photo of you wearing granny panties and-

Lovrina: SMOOCH.

Terry: Oh, Lovrina. *Giggle* You are sooooo sweet. I could just eat you up.

Lovrina: Stop acting creepy and love me. Now. I mean it.

Terry A: Love meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-

Lovrina: I’m pretty sure this is supposed to be the other way around.

What a catch. I guess we know who’s going to be wearing the pants in this relationship.

After this, Terry ONCE AGAIN bolted to his car and abandoned Lovrina. This is becoming annoying.

Mail-Woman: I’M SICK AND TIRED OF THESE LEGACY PEOPLE!

Mail-Woman: TAKE THIS!

Mail-Woman: *pant*

Mail-Woman: AND STAY DOWN!

Well then, I guess someone woke up on the wrong side of the coffin this morning, didn’t they?

Terry A: OH MY GRILLED CHEESUS YES I’LL MARRY YOU!

How anticlimatic. You have such class, Lovrina.

*Slow applaud* This will be fun. I can just see him when he’s old. He’ll be drinking his juice and forget what he’s doing, then spill it all over himself.

Terry A: I see you’ve bought me a guitar.

Why yes, yes I have. Don’t eat it or shove it up any part of your body. By the way, you might want to check on your wife.

Lovrina: I’ve fallen and can’t get up!

Terry: She’ll be fine. 

Lovrina, what are you doing?

Lovrina: Celebrating our marriage of course!

Don’t you think you should do that outside?

Lovrina: Well it’s too late now!

So Terry, how do you like this whole legacy thing?

Terry: Eh, it’s alright. I mean, I can’t get out and socialize much anymore.

Rocket: PEW PEW PEW IMMA DESTROYIN YOUR HAUUUS!!!!

Lovrina: So pretty….

Terry: Yah, baby. This is totally making me get into the mood…

… TO DESTROY!

Terry: LOOL. Youz all wet nao. Haha.

Lovrina: GET THE FIRE YOU IDIOT!

Terry: Oh yeah! The fire. Gotta get that…

Lovrina: oh em gee oh em gee! PUT IT OUT!

Terry: Oh no, I’m not putting it out. I’m just trying to make it bigger. OF COURSE I’M PUTTING IT OUT!

After it was all said and done, nothing was destroyed. Although insurance did give them 300 Simoleons. WIN!

What are you crying about this time, Lovrina.

Lovrina: Well, I see y-y-you bought us this bench an-an-an

Lovrina: IT DOESN’T MATCH THE REST OF THE HOUSE PERFECTLY!

And that’s where today stops.

Srsly. I ran out of time. It’s pretty sad that we’re still in generation zero.

Next Time: BABAYZ?!

Fresh Starts

Hello and welcome to my Rainbowcy! The legacy is in Twinbrook… blah blah blah. Let’s get right to the point shall we? This is our lovely founder, Lovrina Shimmer:

Lovrina: Giddy-up horsey! Run! Run away from the ravenous seagulls! Run for your life!

Lovrina, why aren’t you facing me?

Lovrina:You’d look up my skirt.

You’re wearing leggings.

Lovrina: How do I know that you don’t have X-Ray vision? HMMMMM?!

Lovrina got a job in the criminal career! Hooray for her!

I then sent her to the gym to work out and possibly find a mate. All I found was this group of old people standing around the counter, like it’s some sort of religious emblem.

Old people: Myuhk-A-hai-umpa-My-Shunga-Ling!

WAIT A MINUTE. I see a male in the crowd. Let’s get a closer look…

No. NO NO NO. He looks like a drug dealer.

Lovrina: Hey there big boy.

No. You choose him, you die. You’ll probably contract multiple STD’s too. Let’s see if there are any other possible candidates.

No. He’s a tranny…

Random guy: Haaayyy. I would be, like, the most FABULOUS legacy mate.

You have the face of Abe Lincoln. Sorry. NEXT!

Yes! We have found him! The most beautiful man in the world! Look at that tanned body, the amazing complexion! His AMAZING fashion sense!

Redneck: Golly yew mean it?!

No. I don’t. ARE THERE NO DECENT LOOKING MALES IN THIS TOWN THAT ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 60?!

No?

I sent Lovrina to work out. Hooray!

Hello? Lovrina? Someone poke her. Just check if she’s alive, mmmk?

OH MY GOD EVERYBODEH. STOP THE PRESS. WE HAVE FOUND AN ATTRACTIVE MAN!

It’s Terry A. Keys. I guess he’s special enough to have his middle initial in his name. Go get him Lovrina!

Lovrina: Hey there. You single?

Terry A: Teehee! You’ll have to chase me to find out.

And then he bolted out of there. 

Lovrina: You’re going to make me chase him, aren’t you?

Sure am.

Lovrina: I guess I’m marrying him too. Aren’t I?

Right on the dot.

Lovrina: Splendid. Just splendid.

Lovrina: I *huff* finally *huff* caught… up to you.

Terry: Took you long enough. I could be enjoying a beautiful sunset on the beach right now.

Lovrina: No Wai! We both like tons of babies!

Terry: No Wai x2!

Lovrina: You know, I could easily say you’re lookin’ so fly LIKE A G6, but I’m going to be different. So instead, here’s a video of a dancing frog!

Lovrina: Kisses?

Terry A: How bout… no.

And then he just hopped in his car and drove off.

Lovrina: This is all your fault! I could have easily had him!

Calm down, he’ll be back.

Lovrina: He better be…

Lovrina: You’re looking up my skirt.

I told you, you’re wearing leggings!

Lovrina: Mr. Fiffles thinks you have X-Ray vision.

Who’s Mr. Fiffles?

My little pony steed. Duuuuhhh!

Lovrina: Terrrrryyyyyyyy….

Nice to see we’re on the same page.

Lovrina: Ninja lover behind the dumpster… dun nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh.

I see what you’re thinking about. The answer is no. Too many people use Sinbad.

Lovrina: But he’s cuuuuuuteeee-uh.

Ta-da! This is Lovrina’s…. shack. Thing.

Geeze

You live in dirt, Lovrina.

Lovrina: Nobody will miss this thirty-six thousand dollar car, now will they? I’m doing them a favor… these things pollute the environment anyways.

Lovrina: They’ve spotted me! FOR THE LOVE OF JESUS THEY’VE SPOTTED ME!

Yes.

This is who spotted Lovrina.

She looks dreadfully armed and dangerous.

Girl: I hope ‘choo know I carry 22 Shot gun wit’ me at all times. Fo’ ‘mergencies, ya know.

I’m not even going to ask where she ‘stores’ it. I don’t see any pockets.

Well well well. What do we have here?

Lovrina: It’s pink. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD IT’S PINK *Girly shriek*

*Swipe*

Aged Hooker: Oh hey *cough* I really like *cough* your dress. *Hack wheeze* You’re also being inappropriate. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.

Lovrina: You were watching me the whole time, weren’t you?

Hooker: *COUGH* Sure was. *Hacks up mucus.*

The hooker then went inside, and Lovrina stole her lamppost. I those two cars only sold for about 7000 simoleons. Srsly?

Anyways, Lovrina no longer is lawn living. Now she lives in a run down shack made of rotten wood she found in the crick.

I this is where I leave you. OR IS IT?!

Introduction

Hello! This is GeritWag, creator of the Aurora legacy. This is a Rainbow Legacy challenge. If you don’t know what that is, it’s where you start out legacy style, and every generation has it’s own ‘color.’ The color of each generation is as listed:

1.)Black

2.) White

3.) Yellow

4.) Orange

5.) Red

6.)Purple

7.) Blue

8.)Turquoise

9.) Green

10.) Lime

The founder doesn’t count. Ergo, he is a neutral gray. Have fun!